看看这诱人的煎饼
Look at those flapjacks.
注意礼貌 Kellenberger 先生
Have decorum, Mr. Kellenberger.
我们在去教堂露营的路上
We are on our way to church camp.
主啊 感谢您赐予我们这么丰盛的煎饼
Lord, I thank Thee for this awesome bounty of flapjacks.
好多了
Much better.
她是哪里人
Where is she from?
有人知道吗
Does anybody know?
我不知道
I don't know.
来自附近 某个地方
From around, somewhere.
我想知道她是否来自单亲家庭
I wonder if she comes from a single-parent home.
到时候你们俩可有得聊了
You two would have a lot to talk about then.
对吧 杰奎琳
Right, Jacqueline?
你去问问怎么样
How about you go find out?
如果你他妈的闭嘴 也许我会的
Maybe I will if you shut the fuck up.
别这样 丹妮尔
Please don't, Danielle.
你好
Hi, there.
哦 嗨
Oh, hi.
我是 Danielle
I'm Danielle.
我是 Faith
I'm Faith.
我知道
I know.
如果可以的话 我真的很想和你谈谈
Look, I-I really wanted to talk to you about something, if that's all right.
当然
Sure.
好吧
Okay, well...
我希望你记住 我说这些的时候 心里充满了善意
I want you to remember that I'm saying this with all the kindness in my heart.
但是 呃..
But, uh...
自从你上了这趟车 你就一直在吸引男生的注意力
ever since you got on this bus you've
been attracting the wrong sort of attention.
你说什么
Excuse me?
亲爱的 你不觉得那件衬衫穿在你身上有点紧吗
Sweetie, don't you think that blouse is a little snug on you?
如果你想的话 我得提醒你一下
You know, if you want I can try and scare you up, uh --
你穿几号
what size are you?
特大号的
Extra large?
不用了 谢谢
Yeah, no thank you.
我很好
I'm good.
好吧 如果你改变主意了就告诉我
Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind.
我会的
Will do.
你还记得你的箴言吧
Oh, and-and you do remember your Proverbs, don't you?
美丽的姑娘不谨慎 如同猪鼻上的金戒指
Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful girl without discretion.
太对了
So true.
你当然还记得你的《俄比亚书》
And you of course remember your Book of Obadiah:
只能把平胸带到宴会上的女人是孤独的
Lonely is the woman who only has flat cakes to bring to the banquet.
再见
'Bye now.
太棒了
That was so awesome.
你很勇敢
Like you are so brave.
这不算什么 相信我
It was nothing, believe me.
我是杰奎琳
I'm Jacqueline.
我是 Faith
I'm Faith.
只是想让你知道那段经文不在《俄巴底亚书》里
Y-y -- um, just so you know, that verse is not in the Book of Obadiah.
哦 我知道
Oh, I know.
好吧
Okay.
你能来真是太好了
Um, well, it's really cool that you're here.
我..
I'm...
帮我跟她谈谈 兄弟
Talk to her for me, bro.
哥们 你自己跟她说
Dude, talk to her yourself.
杰夫 别这样
Jeff, come on.
帮我让她热热身 伙计
Just get her warmed up for me, man.
她已经很辣了
She's plenty warm.
去跟她打个招呼
Just go fuckin' talk to her and say hello.
我不能永远为你做这个 伙计
I can't do this for you forever, man.
好吧 算了 当我没问
- All right, never mind. Forget I asked.
别这样
Don't do that.
朋友
Friend.
-别这样 -朋友
- Don't do that. - Friend.
-别叫我... -朋友
- Don't call me -- - Friend.
-伙计 -朋友
- Dude. - Friend.
-我是你的朋友 -最好的朋友
- I am your friend. - Best friend.
去你的 伙计
Oh, fuck you, dude.
真的吗
Really?
你觉得我会永远做你的僚机吗
You think I'm going to be your wing man forever?
你打算什么时候飞
When are you going to fly?
你什么时候飞 -我每天都在飞
When do you fly? - I fly every day.
-让我看看你的翅膀 -不 别这样
- But let me see those wings. - No. Stop.
让我看看你的翅膀
Let me see those wings.
-飞 -我在飞
- Fly. - I am flying.
-飞吧 飞吧 -我在飞
- Fly. Fly. - I'm flying.
那就飞吧
Then fuckin' fly.
好了 滚下来
All right, get off my ass --
耶稣对摩西说
uh, said Jesus to Moses, um --
没错
That's right.
当摩西试图爬上耶稣的..
when Moses tried to climb aboard Jesus's --
驴
Donkey.
-驴 -没错
- -- donkey -- - Yep. Mm-hmm.
在他喝了太多酒之后
after, um, he drank too many natty ice --
是的
Yes.
捣蛋鬼
pounders.
阿门 兄弟
Amen, brother.
对不起
Sorry.
进展不错
That went well.
是啊 我觉得挺好的
Yeah, I think that was good.
嘿 伙计们
Hey, gang.
好吧
All right.
让我们试着平静下来
Let's try to settle down.
我们来做五次深呼吸怎么样
How about we try five deep breaths?
我先来
I'm going to go first.
闭嘴
SHUT UP!
好吧
All right.
我知道今年有很多新面孔 所以我们要谈谈规则
Well, I know that we have a lot of new faces
this year, so we're going to get to the rules.
但首先让我们做一些介绍
But first let's do some introductions.
我是营地主管 道格
I'm the camp director, Doug...
道格
Doug.
我很高兴今年能与你们一起工作
And I am so excited to be working with you this year to ensure that our campers
以确保我们的营员在离开好朋 友教会营地时 能被他可怕的信息所改变
are going to leave Good Friends Church Camp transformed by His awesome message.
阿门
Amen.
你们是一个特殊的团体 所以 我为你们准备了一些特别的东西
You guys are a special group, so I have something special for you.
看到这个了吗
See this?
是个罐子 一个罐子
It's a jar, a jar.
但里面什么都没有
But there's nothing in it.
但是如果你做了一些好事
But if you do something good, like following the rules or showing
比如遵守规则或者表现出强有 力的领导能力 我会把一个弹珠放进罐子里
strong leadership, I am going to take a marble and put it in the jar.
如果你做错了什么 比如不遵守规则
Now, if we have a situation where you do
something wrong, like not following the rules...
弹珠就要出来了
the marble is going to come out.
哦 不
Oh, no.
我们该怎么办
What do we do?
我稍后再跟你解释 考特尼
I'll explain it later to you, Courtney.
现在 在周末 如果我们有一 个装满弹珠的罐子 你猜怎么着
Now, at the end of the week if we have a jar full of marbles, guess what?
我们就开个披萨派对
We're going to have a pizza party.
人人都爱披萨 对吧
Everybody loves pizza, right?
兴奋吗
Excited?
听起来像同性恋
Sounds fucking gay.
好极了
Nailed it.
我是说..
I mean ...
披萨派对
pizza party?
太棒了
Awesome.
Kellenberger 先生 是吗
Mr. Kellenberger, is it?
我想让你知道 在好朋友教会营地
I would like to let you know that there is nothing gay nor
没有任何同性恋 也没有同性恋或任何形式的偏差
homosexual or deviant of any kind at Good Friends Church Camp.
例如 规则一:
For example, rule number one:
不准打飞机
no masturbating.
什么
Boo. What?
你是认真的吗
Are you serious?
老兄 我现在已经搓了一半了
Dude, I'm halfway through rubbin' one out right now.
我在帮他
I'm helping him.
别这样 伙计
Come on, man.
真是胡扯
This is bullshit.
伙计们 规矩不是我定的
Guys, guys, guys, I don't make the rules.
上帝的旨意
He does.
我想他是对的
I guess he's right.
不要像解放后的女人那样大笑
No laughing like a liberated woman.
哇
Waaahhhhhh!
早上好
Morning.
早上好
Morning.
那辆巴士要去哪里
Where's that bus going?
什么巴士
What bus?
那辆巴士
That bus.
好吧 我想说既然学校没有开学
Well, I'd say since school is not in session that that bus is
那辆巴士是去教堂的营地 就在大森林州立公园那里
going out to the-the church camp, out there by Big Timber State Park.
营地
The camp?
你有弹药吗
You got any ammo?
对 就在那边
Yeah, right over there.
现在季节不适合
There ain't much in season right now.
你要去打猎吗
You doing you some huntin'?
是的
Yeah.
算是吧
Yeah, sort of.
那个也是
That too.
一共是15.75美元
Gonna be, uh, $15.75.
好吧
All right.
有袋子吗
Got a bag?
没有
Nah.
谢谢
Thanks.
先生 好好享受吧
Hey, you know, Mister, you enjoy that.
盒装早餐是钱能买到的最好的早餐
That there is the best breakfast in a box that money can buy.
你不知道早餐是什么
You don't know what breakfast is.
好了 所有人都给我滚出去
All right, everyone get the fuck out!
好了 各位
All right, everybody.
来吧
Come on!
今天是个大日子
We got a big day ahead.
很高兴见到你
Good to see you.
很高兴见到你
Good to see you.
很高兴再次见到你
Nice to see you again.
嘿
Hey!
里昂 记住七点去柯克兰小学接露营者
So, Leon, remember: you're going to pick up the
campers at the Kirkland Elementary School at 0700 hours.
我会记住的 好吗
Yeah, man, I'll remember, okay?
是的
Yes.
我可不想重蹈去年夏天的覆辙
Well, I don't want a repeat of last summer.
记得吗
Remember?
当你把露营者带到鹰关赌场12个小时的时候
When you took the campers to the Eagle Pass Casino for 12 hours?
我接到很多家长的愤怒电话
I got a lot of angry phone calls from parents.
去你的 道格
Fuck you, Doug.
去你妈的
Fuck you.
那是
Well, that's.
我们达成共识了吗
Do we have an understanding?
大家好
Hey, everyone.
借过
Coming through.
道格过来了
Doug coming through.
让我们分开这红色的海洋
Let's part these red seas.
好吧
All right.
耶
Yeah!
我等不及了
Oh, I can't wait!
你们准备好了吗
Are you guys ready?
是的
Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
现在 露营者明天到达
Now, the campers arrive tomorrow.
所以 Theresa 和我分配了一些任务来帮忙把这里准备好
So Theresa and I have assigned some tasks to help get the place ready.
大家好
Hi, everyone.
我是 Theresa
I'm Theresa.
既然你们都这么努力工作 我 们冒昧为你们准备了一份特别的礼物
And since you'll all be working so hard, we have took
the liberty of preparing a special treat for all of you.
雷吉
Reggie?
大家好
Hey, everybody.
很高兴见到你
Good to meet ya.
今天是狂欢星期二 也就是说
It's Shrove Tuesday, and that means
Reggie 正在准备一顿丰盛的煎饼晚餐
Reggie's cooking up a nice big pancake dinner.
把早餐当晚餐
Breakfast for dinner?
还有比这更疯狂的事吗
Could things be getting any crazier?
是吗
Yeah?
是的
Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
肯德拉和考特妮
Um, Kendra and Courtney --
什么事
Yeah?
如果你能去准备Jonah的钓鱼棚 那就太好了
If you can go prepare Jonah's Fishing Shed, that'd be great.
没问题
You got it!
好吧
All Right.
费斯和杰奎琳
Uh, Faith and Jacqueline?
我打算让你们去伯利恒的小沙滩排球馆
I'm going to send you guys down to the
Little Beach Volleyball Court of Bethlehem.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my gosh.
太棒了
Awesome!
我们走吧
Let's go.
这边走
It's this way.
好吧
Okay.
不好意思
Excuse me.
你们能让一下吗
Can you move over, guys?
他们太安静了
They're so quiet.
好孩子
Great kids.
杰弗里和斯坦利
Jeffrey and Stanley?
杰弗里和斯坦利
Jeffrey and Stanley?
杰弗里和斯坦利
Jeffrey and Stanley!
谢谢
Thanks.
你们要去给所罗门马厩打扫卫生
You guys are going to muck out the Stables of Solomon.
到了那里 去找阿尔贝托
When you're there, go find Alberto.
说起来真有意思
Well, that's fun to say!
是的
It is.
是西班牙语
It's Spanish.
哦 我们确实给马换了燕麦片 所以它们的 BM 可能有点软
Oh, we did change the oats on the horses so their BMs might be a little soft.
你可以相信我们 Dougie
You can count on us, Dougie.
哦 康罗伊先生 如果这样继 续下去 我会看到更多的弹珠在一个罐子里
Oh, Mr. Conroy, if this keeps up I see a few more marbles in a jar.
我喜欢你的弹珠 道格
I love your marbles, Doug.
谢谢
Thanks.
这是有史以来最棒的事了
It's like the best thing ever.
是啊 肯定会超级刺激的
Like -- and, yeah, it's going to be super exciting.
失陪一下
Excuse us.
说吧
Go ahead.
嗨
Hi.
我们要去打扫马厩
We're gonna go, uh, muck the stables.
你想来吗
You wanna come?
不 我很好
Yeah, no. I'm good.
-你们先走吧 -不
You guys go on ahead. No.
好吧
All right.
那就多给我们点
More for us, then.
好吧
All right.
回头见
See you later.
是的
Yeah.
很高兴你拒绝了
So glad you said no.
我讨厌打扫马厩
I hate mucking the stables.
是的
Yeah.
那个包里到底是什么
And what was in that bag, anyway?
紫花苜蓿
Alfalfa.
你知道的 给马用的
You know, for the horses.
是的
Yeah.
好吧
All right.
排球场在这边
Um, well volleyball court's this way, so.
好吧
Okay.
喔 喔 喔
Wo, wo, woooo!
喔
Wooo!
该死 里昂
Goddamn it, Leon.
你他妈去哪了
Where the fuck you been?
刚卸完货
Just dropped off my load.
想帮我再扔一个吗
Wanna help me drop another?
去你的 里昂
Fuck you, Leon.
我们应该揍你一顿 因为你让 我们在这该死的早晨在这里等待
We should leave your ass for making us
wait here in this shithole fucking morning.
拜托 女士们
Oh, come on, ladies.
里昂比三个蛋蛋的公猫还饥渴
Leon's hornier than a three-balled tomcat.
另外 我还有些派对礼物
Besides, I've got some party favors.
去他妈的
Fuck it.
去他妈的
Fuck it.
哦 是的
Oh, yeah.
谢谢你
Thank you.
就在那儿
Right there.
感觉真好
Feels so good.
哦 是的
Oh, yeah.
就在那里 我是说里昂
Right there, I mean Leon.
哦 是的
Oh, yeah.
哦 是的
Oh, yeah.
感觉真好
It feels so good.
是的
Yeah.
就像这样
Just like that.
就在那儿
Right there.
那是什么声音
What was that?
别再胡思乱想了
Shut up with that paranoia shit again.
把包给我
Pass me the bag.
哦 妈的
Oh, fuck.
你手里拿的是什么
What do you have up there.
该死
Goddamn!
该死
Goddamn.
该死
Goddamn.
该死
Goddamn.
该死
Goddamn.
去年夏天 我们演了一出《编年史》里的戏
So last summer, um, we did a play from the Book of Chronicles.
我扮演利未人约西亚
And I played Josiah the Levite.
苏茜 · 博克曼称我为我认识的麦加锡人亚撒尼雅
And Susie Bokerman referred to me as Jazaniah the Macathite I know.
然后当我去游泳的时候 所有 的孩子都会离开 因为到处都是
And then like when I'd go swimming all the kids would leave because everywhere.
我发誓 就像摩西在水上行走 就像在营地的游泳池里
And then like I swear like like Moses walked
on water like in the swimming pool here at camp.
我喜欢 我是说
And I like -- and I mean --.
天啊 那是熊吗
Oh, my God, was-was that a bear?
不 不
No, no.
我肯定这不是
I'm sure it's nothing.
我去看看
I'm going to go check it out.
小心点
Be-be careful.
厄尼 你到底在干什么
Ernie, what the hell are you doing ?
我在观鸟
Uh, I-I was bird-watching.
对
Right.
好的 我现在就去拿这个
Yeah, let me go ahead now and take this.
嘿 这不是我们要做的事
Hey, that's not what we were doing.
搞什么 厄尼
What the hell, Ernie?
这应该是我们吗
Is this supposed to be us?
不是
N-no.
是我吗
Huh? Is that me?
不是
No.
因为这是身体状况
Huh? Because this is a medical condition.
这不正常
This is not normal.
不正常
No.
对
Right.
天啊
God.
我还是留着这个吧 以防万一
I'm going to go ahead and hang onto this, you know, just in case.
我...我得去清理木工房
I-I gotta go clean wood shop.
我不喜欢那家伙
I don't like that guy.
他看起来像个大变态
He seems like a major creeper.
我是说他会做什么 什么
Like I mean what would he be doing -- what --?
嘿 等等
Hey, wait up.
那可是一大堆大麻 伙计
That's a shitload of weed, dude.
为了和我最好的朋友在森林里 度过美好的一天 我准备了很多大麻
Lot of weed for a beautiful day in the forest with my best buddy.
好吧
All right.
你对那个叫费斯的女人有什么看法
So what's your angle on that Faith chick, dude?
天啊 她太正经了 伙计
Oh, god, she's a prude, dude.
你知道他们是怎么说那些假正经的人的
You know what they say about those prudes, though.
什么
What?
一旦他们裸体 就会变得很粗鲁
Once they get nude, shit gets crude.
我觉得我们去找湖边那两个拉拉队员会更走运
I think we'd have a lot better luck going to
those two cheerleader types down at the lake.
肯德拉和考特妮
Kendra and Courtney?
是的
Yes.
同意
Agreed.
要不我们来点93年的公牛
Say we run a little '93 Bulls on 'em?
我以为你会说..
I thought you were going to say that --
我是乔丹 你是皮蓬
I'll go Jordan, you go Pippen?
不
No.
你总是得到乔丹
You always get Jordan.
拜托 伙计
Aw, come on, man.
我受够皮蓬了
I'm tired of Pippen.
我受够皮蓬了
I'm tired of Pippen.
你很幸运能成为皮蓬 伙计
You're lucky to get to be Pippen, dude.
你他妈应该叫卢克 · 朗利
You should be fuckin' Luc Longley.
收回你的话
Just take it back.
不
M-- no.
收回你的话
Take it back.
Luc Longley 是这个团队不可或缺的一部分
Luc Longley is an integral part of that team.
伙计 至少把 Rodman 给我
Dude, at least give me Rodman.
他很有天赋
He had some flair.
该死
Shit.
搞什么
What the fuck?
早上好
Buenos dias...
马铃薯
potitos.
什么
What?
妈的
Fuck.
该死
Shit.
你从哪弄来的这些大麻
Where do you get this pussy-ass weed, man?
你真该尝尝我们在锡那罗亚的东西
You know, you really ought to try the shit we have down in Sinaloa, man.
那玩意肯定会害死你的
That shit'll fuck you up, man, for sure.
这太糟糕了 伙计
This sucks, dude.
别担心
Don't worry.
那是阿姆斯特丹的白化犀牛
That's some Amsterdam Albino Rhino.
他在咬它
He's gnawing it.
那又怎样
So what?
所以等他抽完烟 嚼完口香糖的时候
So by the time he's done smoking and chewing
他已经在八英里高的地方游荡了 兄弟
he's going to be cruising eight miles high, bro.
最好管用 伙计
This better fucking work, man.
我快不行了
I'm losing my high.
我什么时候错过
When have I been wrong?
真的吗
Seriously?
你什么时候错过 Luc Longley
When have you been wrong, Luc Longley?
别这样 伙计
Come on, man.
把东西堆起来
Stack-stack the shit.
更多的狗屎
More shit?
过来
Come here.
去他的 我们走
Fuck it. Let's go.
嘿
Hey!
嘿 你在干什么
Hey, what are you doing?
继续努力 朋友们
and keep up the good work, amigos!
你真觉得他信了
You really think he bought that?
是啊 是啊 他信了 伙计
Yeah, yeah, he bought it, dude.
我们需要一个计划 伙计
We need a game plan, man.
小妞 老兄 啦啦队员
The chicks, dude, the cheerleaders.
是的
Yeah.
我闻起来像屎
I smell like shit.
是的
Yeah.
去他妈的
Fuck it.
我们走吧
Let's go.
卡门兹塔
Carmenzita.
你为什么离开我
Oh, why did you leave me?
来 吃点吧
Here, have some.
给你
Here.
只有你和我
Just for you and me.
别告诉任何人 好吗
Don't tell nobody, okay?
卡门兹塔
Carmenzita.
我就知道你会回来的
I knew you'd be back.
你的头发像最好的羊毛一样柔软
Your hair is as soft as the finest fleece.
怎么了 我的小鸽子
What's wrong, my little dove?
哦 你很生气 不是吗
Oh, you are angry, no?
你一定会原谅我的
Surely you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
毕竟 人生苦短 不能想当然
After all, life is much too short to be taken for granted.
卡门齐塔
Carmenzita...
你比我记忆中坚强多了
you are much stronger than I remember.
我不想再逃了 伙计
I'm tired of running, dude.
好吧 我们走吧
Okay. Let's walk.
好吧
Okay.
你想要金发还是黑发
You want the blonde or the brunette?
我无所谓
I don't care.
我要那个金发的
I'll take the blonde.
来吧
Come on.
这是谁的小屋
Whose cabin is this?
我不知道 伙计
I don't know, man.
我们走吧
Let's go.
伙计 他们会和别人上床的
Dude, they're gonna fuck somebody else, man.
他们要干厄尼
They're gonna fuck Ernie.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
天啊 是的
Oh, my God, yes.
我的天啊 伙计
Oh, my God, dude.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
什么
What?
我的天啊 伙计
Oh, my God, dude.
不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no.
都是你的错
It's all your fucking fault.
这怎么是我的错
How is that my fault?
我发现了她
I discovered her.
是啊 还不够快 伙计
Yeah, not fast enough, man.
等等
Wait.
嘘 嘘
Shh. Shh.
伙计
Aw, dude.
而且她还在...
And she's still --
嘿
Hey!
你们在干什么
What are you guys doing?
修窗户
Fixing the window.
你为什么不回马厩
Why aren't you back at the stables?
你怎么没去马厩
Why aren't you at the stables?
五颗弹珠
Five marbles!
五颗弹珠
Five marbles!
你不吃披萨的时候想想这个
Think about that when you're not having your pizza!
啊 酷
Ah, grmph.
看来我们要担心10英里半径的范围了
Figure we've got ourselves a 10-mile radius to worry about.
翻遍所有的乳草和浆果丛
Turn over every milkweed and berry bush.
不好意思
Excuse me.
这里谁负责
Uh, who's in charge here?
需要帮忙吗
Can I help you?
是的
Yeah.
你必须马上疏散树林里的人
You have to evacuate the woods, uh, immediately.
打扰一下 你是...
Pardon me, Mister --?
呃 Shirtcliff 事实上是
Uh, Shirtcliff -- actually, Dr. Peter Shirtcliff.
Peter Shirtcliff 医生
不好意思 Shirtcliff 医生
Pardon me, Dr. Shirtcliff, but before I just clear out my
但在我清理我的树林之前 我需要你给我一个好理由
woods I'm going to need you to give me a real good reason.
我会的
Well, I will.
那片树林闹鬼
Them woods are haunted, you know.
他们被死亡所困扰
They're haunted with death.
如果你愿意 你可以选择无视 我或者你可以帮我阻止这一切
And you can choose to ignore me if you'd like or you can help me stop it.
你自己决定吧
It's up to you.
听着 医生 如果每个以为看 到了大脚怪或者火星来的小绿人的疯子
Look, doc, if I had a nickel for every
screw loose who came in here thinking he's seen
Bigfoot or little green men from Mars, I'd
都能给我五分钱的话 我就能 在比佛利山庄有个八居室的房子了
have an eight-bedroom estate in Beverly Hills.
我打赌你会的
I bet you would.
哈 大脚怪
Ha -- Bigfoot.
真是..
That's...
荒谬
absurd.
医生 我现在真的很忙
Doc, I'm real busy here at the moment.
所以我需要你给我一个我需要 担心的真正原因 否则我会好心请你离开
So I'm going to need you to give me a real reason I need to
be concerned or I'm going to kindly ask you to be on your way.
我不能完全透露我的信息范围
I'm not able to fully divulge the extent of my information.
但你可以相信我作为一个绅士的话 危险是真实存在的
But you can take my word as a gentleman that the danger is very real.
每个人都有危险
And everyone's at risk.
我会考虑的
I will take that under advisement.
不幸的是 现在我真正的麻烦是两个失踪的徒步旅行者
Unfortunately, right now I have the very
real problem of two missing hikers on my hands.
对不起 我现在帮不了你
Sorry I can't help you at the moment.
谢普 送这位好医生出去
Shep, see the good doctor out.
是的 女士
Uh, yes, Ma'am.
听着 听着 听着:
Listen, listen, listen:
地图上的东西不是你要找的
whatever is on that map is not what you're looking for.
看 这里
H-h-h-h -- look -- here.
给你
Here.
看看这些
Look at these.
看这里 这里
Look th -- here, right here.
上帝保佑
Lord have mercy.
是的
Yeah.
这道烘肉卷食谱需要两包法式洋葱汤粉
This meatloaf recipe calls for two packets of French onion soup mix!
我说的不是这个
That ain't what I'm talking about.
通常情况下
Normally there's t--
高高在上
Above the fold.
什么 连环杀手
M-- wha-- mass murderer?
在 Big Timber
I-i-in Big Timber?
是的
Yeah.
这里写着呢
It says it right here.
自1892年以来每30年一次
Committed every 30 years since 1892.
不是吗
No.?
在这一天 在这个星期二
On this day, on this Tuesday.
现在 你可以无视我 不疏散 那些树林 你可以让自己浑身是血
Now, you can go ahead and ignore me and not
evacuate those woods and you can have blood all
over you and blood all over your hands and
让血沾满你的手和脸 沾满你的衬衫和一切
your face and all over your shirt and everything.
你身上可能也会有你自己的血
And you'll have your own blood on you too, probably.
听好了 Shirtdick
Now, you listen up, Shirtdick.
你可能会认为我们只是一对笨 蛋 什么都不做 不知道我们在做什么
You might think that we're just a couple of jerkwater
rubes out here, not doing anything, don't know what we're doing.
你猜怎么着
Well, guess what?
我受过大学教育 好吗
I'm college-educated, all right?
我可没时间跟你这个混蛋瞎混 好吗
And I ain't got time to bumble-dick around with your shit-face, all right?
不如你别再浪费我的时间了
So how about you quit wasting my time?
好吧 如果你不想帮我 那你 至少可以带我去营地 我会自己解决的
Well, if you don't want to help me then you could at
least guide me to the camp and I'll take care of it myself.
想都别想
Not a chance.
我受够了你的胡言乱语
I've had it full to here with your gibberin'
所以你最好在我逮捕你之前离开
so you'd best move on before I place you under arrest.
好吧
Fine.
继续
Go on.
好吧
Okay.
好吧
All right.
对不起
Sorry.
对了 我叫 Shirtcliff
It's Shirtcliff, by the way.
谢谢你和我聊天
Thank you for the lovely chat.
你们都会死
You're both going to die.
介意我..
Mind if I --?
Shep 坐下
Shep, sit down.
是的 女士
Yes, Ma'am.
医生
Doc --
我可以帮你找到营地
Uh, I can help you find the camp.
但我得先问你个问题
But I gotta ask you a question first.
好吧
All right.
我可以保留这个秘方吗
Can I keep this recipe?
是的
Yeah.
你可以的
Yeah, you can.
太棒了
Hot diggity dog!
谢谢
Thank you!
是的
Yeah.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
你要做的就是沿着科曼奇路往南走一直走到
All you gotta do is take, uh, Comanche Road south 'till you get to Zakudo
Zakudo 然后你往西走它就在你的右手边
and-and then you-you take that west and it'll be on your right-hand side.
你不会错过的
And you can't miss it.
好吧
Okay.
好吧
All right.
谢谢
Uh, thank you.
不用了 谢谢
Oh, no, thank you.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你为那些人做了巨大的贡献
You've done a tremendous service to those people.
你也是
And you have too.
对了 你一会儿应该回来和我一起吃烘肉卷
Y-- and, uh, hey, you should come back and,
uh, try that meatloaf with me later, perhaps?
你不知道烘肉卷是什么
You don't know what meatloaf is.
考特尼 我有个好主意
Courtney, I have a really great idea.
什么主意
What kind of idea?
因为你的想法经常给我们带来麻烦
Because your ideas usually get us into trouble.
这个比他们大多数人都好
This one is a lot better than most of them.
我觉得我们应该去裸泳
I think that we should go skinny-dipping.
我觉得上帝不会喜欢的
I don't think God would like that.
来吧
Come on.
不感到羞耻就是没有罪恶
To be unashamed is to be without sin.
好吧
Mm... oh, okay.
冷吗
Is it cold?
有一点
A little bit.
不过这样挺好的
This is nice, though.
进去之后就没那么糟了
And it's not that bad once you get in.
是啊 真不错
Yeah, it's really nice.
你知道现在什么才是最有趣的吗
You know what would be really fun right now?
有什么好玩的
What would be fun?
水花大战
A splash fight!
哇 好冷啊
Whoa, that's cold.
那是雷声吗
Was that thunder?
我不知道
I don't know.
老兄 我觉得上帝在生我们的气
Dude, I think God's angry at us.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my gosh.
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my gosh.
快点
Hurry.
我现在真的需要来一口
I really need a hit right now.
我真不敢相信这里没人有大麻
I seriously can't believe nobody here has marijuana.
马里瓜纳 是..
Mariguana, like --?
大麻
Marijuana.
这是教堂露营
This is church camp.
好吧
Okay.
怎么会有人有这个
Why would anyone have that?
我们在树林里 有植物
- We're in the woods. It's a plant.
这是上帝给我们的礼物
It's like God's gift to us.
我们在树林里
We're in the woods.
是啊 上帝给我们的礼物就像树林里的植物 就像沙拉
Yeah, God's gift to us is like plants in the woods like salad.
你可以吃点沙拉
You can have some salad.
我给你做沙拉
I'll make you salad.
我会试着抽一些沙拉
I will try smoking some salad.
好 我试试
I -- yeah, I'll try it.
你不用抽任何东西
You don't have to smoke anything.
孩子们要来了
There's -- children are coming.
我们可以教他们
We get to teach them and --
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
去他妈的孩子 我讨厌孩子
Fuck the children. I hate children.
我不在乎
I don't care.
比如你为什么老是提起孩子
Like why do you keep bringing up the children?
我不在乎
I don't care.
我都不是自愿来这里的
I'm-I'm not even here on my choice.
伙计们 拜托 好像这地方还 不够糟似的 你们还想在这里点生菜
Guys, please, like this place isn't bad enough
with you guys trying to light up lettuce over here.
来吧
So come on.
对不起
Sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我没事
Yeah, I'm fine.
你们都是从哪里来的
Where did you all come from?
嗯..
Um...
你们知道鸡奸的规矩吧
You guys know the rule about sodomy, right?
不知道
Uh, no.
不 不
No. No.
我们不..
We don't --
我们..
We were, you know --
不知道
No.
不 我们不是 我们只是...
No, we're not -- we-were just...
摔跤
Wrestling.
对
Right.
我们要去餐厅 这边走
Well, we were going to go to the dining hall, which is this way.
搞什么 伙计
What the fuck, dude?
摔跤
Wrestling?
我不知道 我吓坏了
I don't know, I freaked out.
嘿
Hey!
嘿 等等
Hey, hang on!
我跟你一起去
I'm gonna come with.
我以为我们要去看看那些啦啦队员
But I thought we were going to check out those cheerleaders.
有时候你得自己飞 小鸟儿
Sometimes you've got to fly on your own, little birdie.
再见
See you.
该起飞了
Time to fly.
真有意思
Well, that was interesting.
是的
Yeah.
怎么样
Well?
好什么
Well what?
给我根烟
Get me a cigarette.
我不干了
I'm out.
香烟让女人看起来像妓女
Cigarettes make women look like prostitutes.
我说“走”
I said, "Go."
好大的薄煎饼
Those are some big fucking pancakes.
崔佛
Trevor?
该死的 特雷弗
Goddamn it, Trevor.
别废话了 快出来
Stop dicking around and get out here.
你最好拿着我的烟
You better have my goddamn cigarettes.
崔佛
Trevor?
特雷弗 是你吗
Trevor, is that you?
该死的 特雷弗
Goddamn it, Trevor.
我能听见你说话
I can hear you.
我他妈看到你在外面晃来晃去 你个混蛋
I fucking see you shuffling around out there, you dick.
我发誓 你是我见过的最没骨气 最没用的废物
I swear, you are the most spineless, ineffectual piece of shit I've ever met.
你猜怎么着
And guess what?
你的老二很小
Your dick is small.
是的
Yeah.
是啊 我打赌你听到了 不是吗
Yeah, I bet you heard that, didn't you?
你不能取悦我 你可能也不能 取悦任何人 因为你是个孬种
And you don't please me and you probably
can't please anyone 'cause you're a pussy.
你听到我说的了
You heard me.
我知道你听到了
I know you heard me.
给我滚出来
Get the fuck out here.
给我滚出来 好吗
Get the fuck out here, okay?
不 不 不 不
No, no, no, noooooo.
我做了什么
What did I do?
你想从我这里得到什么
What do you want from me?
我做了什么
What did I do?
去你妈的
Fuck you!
哦 上帝
Oh, God.
不 不
No.
不 不
No.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
等等
Wait.
不 请不要
No, please don't.
那是什么
What is that?
JT 杰普森的正宗伐木工烙饼面糊
JT Jeppson's Authentic Lumberjack Flapjack Batter...
用钱能买到的最好的盒装早餐
the best breakfast in a box money can buy.
只是加水
Just add water?
你不能只加水
You don't just add water.
好了
There we go.
意大利煎饼
Ooh, Italian pancakes.
好吧 看看你 在食谱上改头换面
Well, look at you, riffin' on the recipe.
我喜欢
I like it.
介意我..
Mind if I...
去吧
Oh, go for it.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
很好
Uh, ahem, real good.
-你没事吧 -我没事
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
你可以再吃点
You can take some more.
-是的 不 嗯 -不 你喜欢吗
- Yeah, no, mmmm. - No, you like it?
我喜欢
Love it.
我在尝试其他方法 所以..
I was trying a couple of other things, so --
自从 Steve Rodriguez 之后
Yeah, I ain't tasted pancakes that good since Steve Rodriguez.
我就没吃过这么好吃的煎饼了
哦 哇
Oh, wow.
Steve Rodriguez 是谁
Who's Steve Rodriguez?
Steve Rodriguez.
不对
Nope.
你没听说过 Steve Rodriguez
You ain't never heard of Steve Rodriguez?
没有
No.
我见过的最好的厨师
Best damn chef I ever seen.
他在阿马里洛的丹尼餐厅工作
Does his thing at Denny's up in Amarillo.
沃尔夫冈 · 帕克 去你的
Wolfgang Puck, my ass!
有人看到我的糖浆了吗
Uh, anybody seen my syrup?
这里有一整桶
Had a whole barrel full of it in here.
没有
Nope.
没有
No.
我要去四处看看
Well, I'm going to go have a look around.
大家帮我留意一下
Y'all keep an eye open for me.
好的
Will do.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
我们 呃 我们在做什么
What are we, uh, what are we doing?
做煎饼
Making pancakes.
酷
Cool.
看看这里有什么
Let's see what we've got here.
妈的
Fuck.
是的 我尝试了几种不同的方法
Yeah, I was trying a couple of different things.
这里有很多配料
They have so many ingredients here.
我只是太兴奋了
I just got excited.
哇
Wow.
是啊 那绝对不一样
Yeah, that's definitely different.
-是吗 -嗯
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
-不一样的好 -不一样的好
- Different good? - Y-- different good.
与众不同
Different.
很好
Oh, good. Okay.
我想给大家一个惊喜
I was going to surprise everybody.
我们今天过得很不顺
We've had a rough day.
这绝对是个惊喜
It's going to be a surprise, definitely.
会是个惊喜的
It'll be a surprise.
很好
Well, good.
你知道 我...我在食谱上有点偏差 你知道
You know, I-I went a little off on the recipe, you know.
上面不是这么写的
It's not exactly what-what it said.
挺好的
It's-it's good.
是吗
Yeah?
哦 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
哦 我们现在要谈这个吗
Oh, we're going to do this now?
好吧
Oh, oh, okay.
不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no.
是啊 是啊
Yeah. Yeah.
你现在必须这么做
You are going to do this now.
嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey. Hey, hey.
给我回来
Come back here!
我会抓到你的
I'm going to get you.
啊
Agh!
搞什么
What the fuck?
那是火
That's fire!
你个臭婊子
You fucking bitch.
不 不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no, no.
好了 好了 各位 好了
- All right, all right. Everybody, okay.
够了 好吗
That's quite enough, all right?
伙计 我们玩够了 但说真的 拜托
Dude, we've had our fun. But seriously, come on.
别闹了
Cut it out.
搞什么
What the fuck?
怎么了 伙计们
What's going on, guys?
谢普
Shep?
去镇上告诉霍尔警长 我们需要帮助找到这些徒步旅行者
Go on into town, tell Sheriff Hall we need some help finding these hikers.
看看你能不能从Toughie那里找到一些人
See if you can rustle up some folks from Toughie's
before they get too far gone to be any use to us.
以免他们走得太远 对我们没有任何用处
好吧
All right.
你好 法丽塔
Yeah, hi, Falita?
嘿 我是护林站的露安
Hey, it's Lu Ann over at the Ranger's Station.
是的
Yeah.
听着 我需要你帮我个忙
Listen, I need you to do me a favor.
你能帮我查一下 Peter Shirtcliff 医生吗
Can you look up a Dr. Peter Shirtcliff for me?
我想也许..
I think maybe --
法丽塔 我待会再打给你
Falita, I'm going to need to call you back.
你个变态
You sick fuck.
去你妈的 混蛋
Fuck you, motherfucker!
去你妈的
Fuck you!
去你妈的
Fuck you!
肯德拉
Hey, Kendra.
你觉得我应该把头盔放在哪里
Where do you think I should put this helmet up?
这边
Mm, over here.
耶 耶
Yeah! Yeah.
太棒了
Awesome!
耶
Yeah!
我喜欢
I like that.
这个可以..
This one could...
嘿 女士们
Hey, ladies.
嗨
Hi.
嘿
Hey.
看来你们两位女士工作很努力啊
Looks like you ladies have been working hard.
休息一下怎么样
How about a break?
那是酒吗
Is that wine?
不 宝贝
No, babe.
这是个酒柜
It's a wine cooler.
看到没
See?
里面有酒精吗
Does-does that have alcohol in it?
不
Uh, n-no.
我不 我不这么认为
I don't -- I don't think so.
我是说 不管怎样 耶稣一直都喝这个
I mean, anyhow, Jesus drank this stuff all the time.
圣经里怎么说的
Where does it say that in the Bible?
在托德3号殖民地14...
Uh, in Todd 3 colon 14...
当耶稣进入耶稣城的时候 他说“拿出你的桃花清风冰来
as Jesus entereth the town of... Jesus Town, he-he said, "Bring forth
your Peach Breeze Ice and we shall drink it as God has commanded us to."
我们要按照上帝的命令喝下去”
-好的 -好的
- Okay. - Okay.
好吧
All right!
你们准备好迎接第二次降临了吗
You ladies ready for the second coming?
耶 哇
Yeah! Whoa!
老兄 搞什么
Dude, what the --?
拜托 伙计
Come on, dude.
拜托 伙计
Come on, dude.
救命啊
Help!
考特尼
Courtney!
考特尼
Courtney!
救命啊
Help!
我做不到
I can't.
我做不到
I can't!
我得走了
I have to go!
不
No!
我做不到
I can't.
我得去找人帮忙
I have to go get somebody to help us.
对不起
I'm sorry!
对不起
I'm sorry!
考特尼
Courtney!
考特尼
Courtney!
考特尼
Courtney!
考特尼
Courtney!
考特尼
Courtney!
啊
Ahhhhhh.
别动
Hold still!
恶心
nasty.
不好意思
Excuse me.
这里谁负责
Uh, who's in charge here?
很抱歉让你们措手不及
I'm sorry to take you all off guard, as I have.
但你们必须马上离开这里
But you all need to leave the area immediately.
你是谁来着
Who are you again?
我是彼得医生 彼得 · 沙特克利夫 伙计
I'm Dr. Peter, Peter Shirtcliff to you, pal.
好吗
All right?
我可以向你保证 这个营地坐落在地狱的天坑上
I can assure you that this camp sits on the sinkhole of hell.
Shirtcliff 医生 请你离开 否则我就要报警了
Um, Dr. Shirtcliff, I'm going to kindly ask you
to leave or else I'm going to be calling the police.
这个盒子不过是个弥天大谎
This box is nothing more than a big lie.
看在上帝的份上 JT 杰普森的煎饼面糊和这有什么关系
What in the good Lord's name does JT
Jeppson's Pancake Batter have to do with anything?
为了回答这个问题 我们必须回到不祥的1892年
Well, in order for me to answer that question
we'd have to go back to the ill-omened year of 1892.
那是一个沉闷的下午 杰普森家族的继承人 JT ·
It was a dreary afternoon when JT Jeppson, the wayward ether-huffing
杰普森(JT Jeppson)正在大木材公司(Big
heir to the Jeppson Cotton fortune, was in Big Timber hunting wildcats.
Timber)猎杀野猫
突然 他的感官被最诱人的香味所迷惑
Suddenly, his senses were ensnared by the most enticing aroma.
饥肠辘辘的他顺着鼻子来到一 个小棚子里 一个名叫尼希米亚
Famished, he followed his nose to a small
shack where a reclusive lumberjack named Nehemiah
-伊斯特戴的隐居伐木工正在准备煎饼
Easterday was preparing pancakes in honor of
以纪念什罗维德节 这天是大斋节前的最后一个星期二
Shrovetide, it being the last Tuesday before Lent.
伊斯特戴邀请杰普逊加入他 他非常高兴地接受了这个邀请
Easterday invited Jeppson to join him, an
invitation which he most happily accepted.
他咬了一口伐木工做的食物
He took a bite of the logger's cookery.
它是轻盈的、天赐的、可口的 肯定是人类有史以来最伟大的薄饼
It was light, heavenly, ambrosial, surely
the greatest flapjacks ever devised by man.
“伊斯特戴先生 ”他说 “ 你必须把这个食谱写下来给我 ”
"Mr. Easterday," he said, "you must write down "this recipe for me.
它会让我们口袋里装满三便士的硬币 ”
It will flood our pockets with three-penny pieces."
“恐怕不行 ”伊斯特戴回答
"I'm afraid I cannot," replied Easterday.
“这是一道古老的家传菜谱 我发誓要把它带进坟墓 ”
"It is an old family recipe and I have avowed to take it to the grave."
“好吧 那么 ”杰普森喊道 “你就去死吧 ”
"Well, then," cried Jeppson, "to your grave you shall go."
就这样 他打了伐木工的头 把他淹死在自己的糖浆里
And with that, he struck the logger across
the head and drowned him in his own syrup.
在搜查了小屋后 他发现了配 方 它被藏在一只塞满的猫鼬里
After searching the shack he found the
recipe, secreted away in a stuffed ocelot.
不管怎样 接下来的故事你们都知道了
Anyway, you all know the rest of the story.
JT ·
JT Jeppson became the pancake king of Texas and
杰普森成为了德克萨斯州的煎 饼大王并开始通过纳粹运送数百万美元
started funneling millions of dollars through the Nazis.
最后他死在了华雷斯某个妓院的一个墨西哥异装癖的怀里
Eventually he died in the arms of a Mexican
transvestite in a brothel somewhere in Juarez or...
你是个骗子
You're a liar.
他什么都没做
He didn't do any of that.
我只希望我是
I only wish I was.
但这一切都发生了 有一个恶魔记录者在外面
But it all happened, and there's a demon logger out there and he's coming down
如果你们现在不听我的话 他就会下来照顾你们每一个人
here to take care of each and every one of you if you don't listen to me now.
怎么会呢
How?
我们的故事还没结束呢
Well, our-our-our story doesn't end there.
多年以后 在这样一个盛大的星期二 伐木工人回来了
Years later, on a Shrove Tuesday such
as this, the lumberjack returned, dragging
他身后拖着一个地狱般的煎锅 上面堆满了多汁的金棕色煎饼
behind him a hellish griddle stacked high with succulent golden-brown pancakes.
整整一天 他都在跟踪大木材 公司 手里拿着斧头 心里想着复仇
All through the day, he stalked Big Timber, axe in hand and vengeance in mind.
当太阳再次升起时 67人死亡
When the sun rose again, 67 lay dead.
只有一个活了下来
Only one survived.
好了 好了 好了 Shirtcliff 医生 我想我们听够了
Okay, okay, okay, Dr. Shirtcliff, I think we've heard enough.
雷吉 送他出去
Reggie, show him to the door.
他的嗜血欲望还没有得到满足
His blood thirst still is not quenched.
你们自便吧
You suit yourselves.
我们走吧
Let's go.
不要忘了那只猫咪
Don't forget about the ocelot.
那是他找到配方的地方
That's where he found the recipe.
信仰...
H-- F-Faith...
在猫鼬的屁股里
In the ass of an ocelot.
你们最后都会被塞拉斯洛的屁股吃掉的
You'll all end up in the asses of an ocelot.
我们不说“屁股”这个词
We do not say the word "ass".
除非我们说的是驴子
Unless we're talking about the donkey.
耶稣骑在他身上
And Jesus riding him.
是的
Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
好吧 好吧 好吧
All right. All right. All right.
外面有个恶魔记录者
There's a demon logger out there.
如果他吃完早餐 他会变得比你想象的更强大
And if he finishes his breakfast, he's going to
become more powerful than you could ever imagine.
没有任何力量可以阻止他
And no force on earth is going to stop him.
他来找你了
He's coming for you.
胡说八道
What poppycock!
真是一群马屁精
What a bunch of horse apples.
我们忘了这事 吃点煎饼吧
Let-let's just put it behind us and have some pancakes.
是的
Yes.
嘿
Hey.
嗨
Hi.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
发生什么事了
What's going on?
他不可能说的都是实话 对吧
He couldn't have been telling the truth about all that, could he?
什么 不 不
What? No.
不 那家伙是个疯子
No, that dude was a fuckin' nut job.
他不是... 他根本没有任何意义 好吗
He wasn't like -- he wasn't making any sense, okay?
说真的
Seriously.
他看起来像是从精神病院出来的
It looked like he was out of a mental institution.
-是啊 -是啊
- Yeah. - Yeah.
-是啊 你说得对 -是啊
- Yeah, you're right. - Yeah.
-这不重要 -是啊
- And it doesn't matter. - Yeah.
-算了吧 -好
- Just forget about it. - Yeah.
你肯定觉得我是个疯子
You must think I'm a total whack job.
不是的
No.
不 我觉得杰奎琳是个疯子
No, I think Jacqueline's a total whack job.
还有道格和..
And Doug and...
我觉得除了你 这里几乎每个人都是疯子
I think pretty much everybody here is a total whack job besides you.
事实上 我觉得你挺酷的
In fact, I think you're kind of cool.
谢谢
Well, thank you.
想吃点煎饼吗
Wanna go eat some pancakes?
是啊 让我们 让我们吃一些该死的煎饼
Yeah, let's -- let's eat some damn pancakes.
没错
Exactly.
然后我们就可以远离营地里的人 一起出去玩
And then we could run away from everybody at camp, just hang out.
我想我会喜欢的
I think I'd like that.
好吧
All right.
酷
Cool.
嘿 你来吗
Hey, you coming?
是的
Yeah.
好 我来了
Yeah, I'm coming.
好吧
Okay.
我不是一个人
I'm not doing this alone.
我知道
I know.
你见过他吗
Have you seen him?
我想是的
I guess you have.
没关系
It's okay.
没关系
It's okay.
没关系
It's okay.
什么 什么
What? What?
糖浆
Syrup.
糖浆
Syrup.
进去
Get in there.
糖浆
Syrup?
等等 等等 卢安
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, L-Lu Ann?
你要去哪里
Where you going?
如果你要去的话 记得吃点鸡蛋
Well, hey, try to remember some eggs if you're going.
好吧
Well, ah...
不
Wh- no --
什么
Whaaaaat --
那是..
is that pan --
那是煎饼吗
is that pancakes?
是煎饼
It's pancakes.
哦 我的上帝
Oh, my God!
感谢上帝
Thank you, Lord.
好了 各位 听我说
All right, everybody, listen up one second, y'all, one second.
好吧
All right.
希望食物看起来不错
I hope the food looks good.
我只是想宣布一件事
Uh, I just wanted to make a quick announcement.
我到处都找不到糖浆
I could not find the syrup anywhere.
我真的很抱歉 但是我..
I'm real sorry, but I --
是的 我知道
yeah, I know.
我知道 我知道
I kn-- I know.
我知道
I know.
但是 嘿 你看 你有香肠 饼干 你有鸡蛋
But, hey, look, you got some sausage, biscuits, you got some eggs,
你有培根 你有各种各样的东西 不需要糖浆
you got some bacon, you got all kinds of stuff, no syrup required.
所以我相信你们都会喜欢的
So I'm sure you'll all enjoy it just fine.
所以我要离开这里
So I'm going to get out here.
你们都好好享受吧
Y'all enjoy yourselves.
保重
Take care.
杰奎琳 你为什么不带领我们祈祷呢
Jacqueline, why don't you lead us in a prayer?
我很乐意
Oh, I-I'd love to.
亲爱的主耶稣 我们感谢您赐予我们丰盛的周二盛宴
Dear Lord Jesus, we thank you for this bountiful
Shrove Tuesday feast in which our larders will be
我们的食物储藏室将空空如也
empty of all but the bare necessities so that we
只剩下最基本的必需品 这样 我们才能在斋戒前净化我们的灵魂
may cleanse our souls before the fasting of Lent.
我们想你 亲爱的上帝 请你 看护我们 当我们庆祝这个 Shrove
And we think you, dear Lord, and ask you to watch over
us as we celebrate this Shrove Tide with the traditional
giving of pickled eggs to the children and with pancake
汰渍传统给孩子们咸蛋 煎饼 比赛 足球 大跳跃 公鸡鸣叫和--
races and football and mass-skipping and cock-ringing and --
杰奎琳 这一切都非常非常好 但是我们先把事情做完 好吗
Um, Jacqueline, this is all very, very good but let's wrap things up, okay?
哦 好吧
Oh, all right.
我们知道 上帝 你会看着我们
And-and we know, Lord, that you will watch
over us whether we be beheaded with an axe or tied
不管我们是被斧头砍头还是被绑在两根柱子上然后被烧死
to two poles and set on fire or we have our
或者我们的肠子被钉在树上
intestines nailed to a tree and we are chased
被一根燃烧的长矛追着绕着树 跑 直到我们的肠子被缠绕在那棵树上
around that tree with a flaming lance until
our intestines wrap all the way around that tree
然后我们被那根长矛残忍地殴 打 就像很多其他基督的追随者一样
and we are brutally beaten with that lance,
just like so many other followers of Christ.
够了 杰奎琳
That's enough, Jacqueline.
我们知道 亲爱的上帝 你会原谅我们所有的罪恶
And we know, dear Lord, that you will
forgive us of all of our sins, just like you'll
就像你会原谅我想和道格上床 玷污自己 成为一个无耻的妓女
forgive me for wanting to lie with Doug
and defile myself as a shameless harlot.
阿门
Amen.
等等
Wait.
你想上道格吗
You wanna bang Doug?
我甚至都不想上道格
I don't even wanna bang Doug.
有人看到厄尼 特雷弗或者丹妮尔了吗
Has anyone seen Ernie or Trevor or Danielle?
厄尼不会错过一顿饭的
It's not like Ernie to miss a meal.
我想知道他在哪里
I wonder where he could be.
不 从来没有
No, never.
好像有不少孩子不在这里
There seem to be quite a few kids that aren't here.
我们吃煎饼吧
Oh, well, let's have pancakes.
你想吃煎饼吗
Would you like a pancake?
是的
Yes.
看吧
Ta da.
这个是
This one's.
知道吗 我等不及明天公交车 来了 那些孩子们就会蹦蹦跳跳地走了
You know, I cannot wait for that bus to just
roll up tomorrow and those kids come bounding off.
太神奇了
Oh, it's so magical.
上帝自有安排
God has a plan.
是的
He does.
从好朋友教会夏令营开始
And it starts here at Good Friends Church Camp.
从我们开始
It starts with us.
从我们开始
It starts with us.
怎么了 道格
What's wrong, Doug?
你不会对那个叫杰奎琳的女孩有不纯洁的想法吧
You're not having impure thoughts about that girl Jacqueline, are you?
哦 是的 你们大家 再来一大桶美味的..
Oh, yeah, y'all, got another vat of some delicious pa--
我的天啊
Jesus Fucking Christ.
我现在太嗨了
I'm so fucking high right now.
啊
Ahhhhhhhhhh.
道格 我们得出去
Doug, we gotta get out there.
我们得做点什么
We gotta -- we gotta do something.
我们得帮助那些孩子
We've got to help those kids.
你疯了吗
Are you frappin' crazy?
没人能从那扇门进去
No one's going through that door.
哇
Waaaahhhhh!
那又怎样 你就让他们死在外面吗
So what, you're just going to let them die out there?
听着 小姐
Listen here, missy.
你不是负责人
You're not in charge.
我说了算
I am in charge.
道格是负责人 那扇门不会为 任何人开 即使是耶稣基督本人
Doug is in charge and that door's not opening
for anyone, not even Jesus Christ himself.
真是胡扯
This is bullshit.
别挡我的路 否则我弄死你
Get out of my way before I break my foot off in your little white ass.
我会用它
I'll use it.
我会用它
I'll use it.
我会把你剃得像个袋子一样 像个袋子一样
I'd shave you like a bag, man, like a bag, man.
别逼我
Don't make me do it.
没人能从那扇门进去
No one's going through that door.
道格
Doug!
道格
Doug!
道格
Doug!
请让我进去
Please let me in!
道格
Doug!
道格
Doug!
救救我
Save me!
道格
Doug!
嘿
Hey!
你是我最后一次做爱
You were my last fuck!
我就像只獾
I'm like a badger.
该死
Shit.
我们走
Let's go!
伙计们
Guys!
伙计们 他来了
Guys, he's coming!
他快到了
He's almost here!
伙计们 快点
Guys, come on!
等等 等等
Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
快点
Come on!
一 二 三..
One, two, three...
我知道了
I got it.
我知道了
I got it.
快 快 快
Go! Go! Go!
我能搞定
I can get it!
我能搞定
I got this!
我不会离开你的
Won't leave you!
走
Go!
走
Go!
来吧
Come on!
你在干什么
What are you doing?
来吧
Come on!
不 拜托
No. Come on!
算了吧
Just let it go!
继续吧
Just go ahead and g--
我们现在帮不了他了 宝贝
Ain't nothing we can do for him now, baby.
来吧 我们走
Come on, let's go.
我们得走了
We got to go.
菲丝 快点
Faith, come on!
那是什么
What's that?
是史黛西
It's Stacy.
史黛西
Stacy!
史黛西
Stacy!
史黛西 快点
Stacy, come on!
史黛西 我们得走了
Stacy, we gotta go, girl!
来吧
Come on!
等等 雷吉 她怎么不动了
Wait, Reggie, why isn't she moving?
雷吉 她怎么不动了
Reggie, why isn't she moving?
史黛西
Stacy...
史黛西 我们得走了
Stacy, we gotta go.
史黛西 我们得走了
Stacy, we gotta go.
来吧
Come on.
妈的
Shit!
我们走吧
Let's go.
你们俩都闭嘴
Hey, hey, shut up the both of ya's.
你疯了吗
What are you, crazy?
他还逍遥法外
He's still out there.
他在找你们俩 所以别声张
He's looking for you both, so just keep it quiet.
谢天谢地是你
Oh, thank God it's you.
这里没有上帝 小姑娘
There ain't no God around here, young lady.
嘿 伙计 我们得离开这里 好吗
Hey, man, we gotta get out of here, okay?
我们不能去
Well, well, we can't go.
还不行
Uh, not yet.
你刚跟我们说了一大堆如果我们想活命就得离开这里
You just gave us that whole damn speech about how
we gotta get out of here if we want to stay alive.
现在你要我们留下来
And now you're telling us we gotta stay?
那个恶魔伐木工几个世纪以来一直以无辜者为目标
That demon logger has been out there targeting the innocent for
centuries, setting before him his breakfast of ghastly vengeance.
他的早餐就是可怕的复仇
我们一起 可以永远结束这一切
We, together, can put an end to it now and forever --
因为 你看我 也就是彼得沙 特克利夫博士 已经发现了他的弱点
because, you see, I, Dr. Peter Shirtcliff, that is, have discovered his frailty.
那是什么
What is it?
你看你面前...
You see before you...
对不起
sorry.
你看到你面前的是一把能杀死野兽的剑
You see what is before you is the sword that will slay the beast.
糖浆
Syrup?
普通的、日常的枫叶糖浆 这就是当初杀死他的原因
Ordinary, everyday maple syrup, which is what killed him in the first place.
你是认真的吗
Are you serious?
我们要用这个来对付那个大个子保罗 · 班扬吗
We're going after that big Paul Bunyan motherfucker with that?
没错
That's right.
好吧
Okay.
开始吧
Let's do it.
好的 走吧
Um, yeah, let's go.
我们才不会呢
The hell we will!
我们走吧
Let's go.
嘿
Hey!
嘿
Hey.
你他妈的在干什么 制造这些该死的噪音
What the fuck are you doing, making all this goddamn noise?
我想像马加比家族一样躲在那里
I'm trying to hide over there like the goddamn Maccabees and all I hear is you
我听到的都是你们在那里傻乎乎的胡说八道
guys holding your dicks with all this
tomfoolery and nonsense being spouted out.
他会发现我们在这里 你会死的
He's going to find us here and you're going to die.
我不会死的
I'm not going to die.
你会死的
You're going to die.
他会把你撕成碎片 但我不会
He's going to tear you in a bunch of fucking pieces, but not me!
道格 等等
Doug, wait!
该死
D--
菲丝 你不能带着一小包糖浆出去
Faith, you ain't going out there with no little bitty packet of syrup.
那个男孩会把你撕成碎片的
That boy'll tear you apart!
听着 听着 听着
Listen. Listen. Listen.
没时间争论了
There's no time to argue.
等他吃完最后一口血淋淋的烙饼 就太晚了
As soon as he finishes his last mouthful
of blood-soaked flapjacks, it'll be too late.
准备好
Get ready.
我们得走了
We gotta go.
我们得走了
We gotta go now.
姑娘
Girl!
开始吧
Let's do this!
菲丝
Faith!
菲丝
Faith!
那是什么鬼东西
What is that damn thing?
我不知道 伙计
I don't know, man.
嘿 让我们他妈的骑...
Hey, let's just fucking ridi--
我们开你的车吧
why-why don't we just take your car?
是的
Yeah.
好吧 你知道 我有人在那里 因为我正在帮助别人
Well, you know, I got someone in there 'cause I'm helping someone.
他们在里面 他们..
And they're-they're in there and they-they --
没有足够的空间
there's not enough room.
你在干什么
What are y--?
真的
Really.
很小
It's small.
这是辆智能车
Well, it's a smart car.
是... 是...
- It's-it's -- what was that?
那是什么
你他妈是认真的吗
Are you fucking serious, man?
只是..
Just -- oh...
我说什么来着
What did I say?
你不是说这是辆智能车吗
I thought you said it was a smart car.
为什么这么叫
Why do they call them that?
那些小... 是啊 是啊 那些小..
Them little -- yeah, yeah, the little...
我不知道他们为什么这么叫
I don't know why they call them that.
太奇怪了
It's so weird.
我一点头绪都没有 伙计
I ain't got a fucking clue, dude.
你一开始为什么要买它 妈的
And why did you buy it in the first place, mother--?
哦..
Oooh...
是啊 你知道 美国老式肌肉车怎么了
Yeah, you know, what ever happened to the good old American muscle car?
真他妈可笑
Fucking ridiculous.
你知道的 一种很好的古老的美国钢铁
You know, a good old American iron steel?
好的 没问题 兄弟
- All right. That's cool, brother.
好吧
Well -- yeah, okay.
对不起
Sorry.
等等 Shirtcliff 医生呢
Hey -- wait, where's Dr. Shirtcliff?
他说要从车里拿点东西出来
He said something about having to get something out of his car.
我不知道
I don't know.
谁知道呢
Who knows?
那我们只能靠自己了
We're on our own, then.
是的
Yup.
你 你想这么做吗
You, uh -- do you want to do this?
不妨试试
Might as well.
来吧
Come on.
他把所有的煎饼都吃了
He ate all the pancakes.
跟我换吧
Trade me.
妈的
Fuck!
该死
Shit.
给我
Gimme that.
来吧
Come on.
雷吉 不要
Reggie, no!
该死
Shit.
雷吉 雷吉 雷吉 别这样
Reggie, Reggie, Reggie, come on.
来吧
Come on.
快点 我们得走了
Come on. We gotta go.
真的得走了 伙计
Really gotta go, buddy.
来吧
Come on.
雷吉
Reggie...
伙计们
Guys!
伙计们 我成功了
Guys, I did it!
我成功了
I made it!
我是来帮忙的
I'm here to help.
哦 该死
Oh, shit.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
来吧
Come on.
我们刚刚看到..
We just saw that...
糖浆 糖浆
Syrup, syrup.
去拿糖浆
Get the syrup.
我知道了
G-- I got it.
就在这里
It's right here.
尼希米・伊斯特戴
Nehemiah Easterday!
一切都好
All's well.
好吧
Okay.
你为什么不做你该做的事
Why didn't you do what you were supposed to do?
糖浆没起作用
Well, the syrup didn't work.
对不起
I'm sorry.
哦 我想不是
Ooh, I guess not.
我不得不杀了他
I had to shoot him.
如果你按我说的去做 就会成功的
It would have if you would have done what I told you to do.
我以为你要做糖浆
I thought you were going to do the syrup and...
你让我恨我自己
you made me hate myself.
我只是觉得你有很多问题
I just think you have a lot of problems.
我们走吧
Let's go.
明白了
Oh, gotcha.
好吧
Okay.
该死
Shit.
好吧
Okay.
好吧
All right.
快点 快点
Come on. Come on.
把糖浆给我
Give me the syrup.
来吧
Come on.
来吧
Come on.
好的
All right.
好的
Okay.
好的
All right.
呵呵
Heh.
来吧 大块头
Come on, big man.
看到没 伐木工人
See, lumberjack man?
那是你的名字 你知道吗
And that's your name, you know?
他们就是这么叫你的
That's what they call you.
你当然不知道 对吧
Of course, you didn't know that, did you?
该死的
Goddamn it.
如果我能拿到这个..
If I can get this...
哦 操..
oh, fuck...
呵呵呵
heh heh heh.
等一下
Hold on a second here.
这该死的东西..
This fucking thing...
它
it.
嘘
Boooo!
好了 伙计
Okay, buddy.
你马上就会明白的
You're going to get it now.
你想胡闹是吧
You wanna fool around, huh?
好吧 伙计
Okay, man.
我不想这么对你 不过没关系
I hate to do this to you, but okay.
好吧
Okay.
我只是在热身
I'm just warming up, you know.
你用斧头和一切都很酷
You're all cool with the axe and everything.
哈
Hah.
好吧
Okay.
喔
Whoo!
哦 该死
Oh, shit.
菲丝 你在干什么
Faith, what are you doing?
快跑
J-j-just run!
没子弹了
It's empty!
拜托 枪 配合我一下
Come on, gun, work with me.
失踪的糖浆 伙计们 我找到了
The missing syrup -- guys, I found it!
我找到糖浆了
I found the syrup!
谢天谢地
Thank God.
你得把衣服脱了
You've got to take your clothes off.
什么
What?
脱光衣服
G-- strip down naked.
把你的衣服脱了 把你自己浸在糖浆里
Get your clothes off and douse yourself in the syrup.
但是为什么呢
But why?
那有什么用
What'll that do?
有什么意义呢
What's the point?
是棉花
It's the cotton.
这是死亡织物
It's the death fabric.
这是死亡织物
It's the death fabric.
是啊..
Yeah...
它 它 它吸收了糖浆 然后... 脱光了
it-it-it absorbs the-the syrup and... just get naked!
看在上帝的份上 动手吧
In the name of God, do it!
至少让我穿着内裤吧
Can I at least leave my underwear on?
嘿 混蛋
Hey, asshole!
你要找的是我 不是他们
It's me you want, not them.
你感觉到了 不是吗
You sense it, don't you?
是的
Yeah.
我是 JT 杰普森的曾曾孙女
I'm the great-great- granddaughter of JT Jeppson.
我的家族靠你的煎饼配方赚了 一大笔钱 都是因为你完全没有商业头脑
My family made a fortune off your pancake recipe,
all because of your total lack of business sense --
你这个无知的乡巴佬
you ignorant, backwoods --
是的
Yeah.
抓住那个混蛋
Take that asshole.
医生
Hey, doc...
嘿
Hey!
嘿 嘿
Hey! Hey!
是的
Yeah.
是的
Yeah.
你知道..
You know --
该去游泳了
went swimming.
营地关门了吗
So, uh, camp closed?
是的
Yep.
但总有一天会重新开放的
But it'll open again someday...
多亏了你
thanks to you.
到那时 这里将成为一个女人和孩子们可以在阳光下跳舞
And when it does, it'll be a place where women and children can dance
and laugh and play in the sunshine, rather than in the shadow of a monster.
欢笑 玩耍的地方 而不是在一个怪物的阴影下
一切都不顺利
All is not well.
你他妈在逗我吗
Are you fucking kidding me?
我们走吧
Let's go.
哦..
Ooh...
你们都怎么了
What the hell happened to y'all guys?
教堂营地
Church camp.
早该想到的
Should have figured.
上车吧
Hop in back.
我载你一程
I'll give you a ride.
你能打开那扇门吗
Can you get that door?
我叫什么来着
What's my name again?
Shirtdick
Shirtdick.
对不起 我怀疑过你
I'm sorry I doubted you.
我也很抱歉
I'm sorry too.
嘿 你好吗
Hey, how you doin'?
去你妈的
Go fuck yourself.
你们饿了吗
Hey, you guys hungry?
我知道前面有家煎饼店不错
I know a good pancake place up the road.
你根本不知道煎饼意味着什么
You don't know what pancakes is.
谢谢你
Thank you.